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Member 4 posts
Posted 3 years ago
I am new to the forum so wanted to say hi.
My daughter, 13, is really suffering from her eating disorder which appears to have quite a hold on her. The conversation and energy and focus is all on food, avoiding food, planning food, feeling guilty about food, feeling hungry, feeling stressed about what she can eat.
The anxiety is massive. Having lived with an anorexic sister I know the pitfalls and am trying to keep calm but I am finding it really hard and distressing. That's it really.
Wishing you all the best in dealing with your journesy.
Admin 220 posts
Oh Chazzer, I am very sorry to read of your daughter's struggle, but hopefully the insight that you may have from your sister may help.
I would suggest involving the school, so that when she is at school there is a place that she can go if her anxieties become huge also maybe a place to eat her lunch with an adult so that she is supported at a stressful time.
I wonder if you have tried doing a day plan with your daughter, so agree the menu with her the day before, agree times and what food, how much food and when she will be expected to eat, Try not to let the meal start time run over as she will begin to get anxious as she sees the mealtime getting closer and if it is delayed then her anxiety will increase. Keep meal times as calm and predictable as possible. After the meal take time to be with her, maybe walking the dog, playing a board game or a game of cards, anything, just something that will distract her from thinking about what she has just eaten. Your daughter's eating disorder may have developed as a desire for her to control her feelings about something in her life so it would be useful for her to have some form of counselling and support, hopefully CAMHS(Children adolescent mental health services), will be working with you and arranging this.
Thanks for the advice. I think sticking to the time frame for eating is very important to her at the moment but I hadn't thought about the anxiety building. I am contacting the school as we are about to go back next week. She has all the other support in place so hopefully we will begin to see some progress.
Thanks Chazzer, its good to hear that you are being strict about meal times, it is hard I know that my own daughter used to try all sorts of tactics to shift the time and she was always so credible. I have found that schools are all different, I have heard of some fantastic schools who have really supported their children. I do think that secondary school is tough, I hope that she manages all well. Let us know how you get on and any advice that you discover about approaching schools.