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Admin 124 posts
Posted 8 months ago
Just a thought the only person who needs to give permission to share their care information is subject of the information so in this case that is the young man that you are looking after. As he is 20 plus it is all his choice the parents wishes do not actually have any sway, so maybe have the discussion with him. Great that you have had a supportive discussion with the eating disorder service. From my experience the person who is suffering from an eating disorder can prefer the numbness of their world rather than facing the thoughts and feelings that may be too much for him if he restores. The problem that I am hearing about is that the eating disorder and health services expect the patient to comply, I have heard of many cases where care and support has been threated because the person with the ED will not comply the services don't always seem to understand that it is part of the illness and that the person with the ED is very, very reluctant to engage. I know that you will do your best to get him to the ECG I hope that you succeed.
I am making this post as the ABC administrator. I am hoping to encourage more online conversation. I do realise how exposing it may feel to make a first post on this forum and so I am suggesting a theme. From my work with ABC and my own experiences with my own adult child I realise how complex and confused an adult child with an eating disorder can become. For some their cognitive abilities are inhibited and dominated by their eating disorder, they can be very defensive and they do not always tell the truth. As a parent it was a bewildering place to be in, I was trying to support her, but it was very difficult. Does this ring a bell with you? What did you do about it ? Have things improved ?
Member 2 posts
Posted 3 months ago
Hi. This is my first post. My daughter has bulimia, very recently been diagnosed so still not sure what lies ahead. Trying desperately to read as much as possible to be better informed about this devastating illness. My daughter has been very close to being admired and has a very weak heart. We are trying very hard to care for her in the community but it is exhausting.
Dear parent, I am sorry to read of your daughter's struggles. I took the same approach as you and just tried to read whatever I could find and it does pay dividends although in the early days I often felt as if she was one step ahead of me. You do not mention how old your daughter is, I am assuming that she is over 18 as you mention care in the community. I was in two minds about my daughter being admitted to an eating disorder unit and basically they are all different, my daughter went into 2 different units and one was so much better and focused than the other. She was in a unit on and off for approximately 2 years, aged 19/20/21. To be quite frank I think the last unit saved her life as she knew exactly what buttons to press with me and I was wrung out. I hope that things work out for you, but I suppose I am saying if she goes into a good unit it may be a good thing.
Member 5 posts
I am feeling at a loss at what to do to support a close family member who at one point deened sleeping rough as preferable to living with parents. So I find myself trying to support a 20 yr with complex mental health issues when I had chosen not to have children. I am on a very steep learning curve and not sure whether I am helping or hindering at the moment. I keep asking myself whether I am enabling binge eating; but at the same time scared that if I do not buy the sugary drnks etc will they survive the day as the currently have a BMI of 13.5. Iget home from work and call up yhe stairs and wait for an answer to make they are still alive.
Member 34 posts
Oh goodness, so is the young person living with you now? There are so many questions; have they seen any medical professionals? as if they have such a low BMI they should be being monitored by the GP this includes bloods and monitoring the heart. They should also be referred to an eating disorder team. This young person obviously trusts you maybe when they feel that the rest of the world is too difficult so well done you are probably keeping her alive. With such a low BMI they should really be following a refeeding diet as the body will find it had to manage high fat/sugar foods, so really it needs to be staged. Also they will attach emotions to food so they may devour the shakes for a short time but then they may hate themselves for drinking such high calories foods for a much longer time. It is so complicated, I am a mum of someone who has had an eating disorder for 6 years so I have seen many different manifestations, currently things are looking brighter. But with such a low BMI as your young person their brain will also be malnourished, het thought processes will slow and so weight gain is crucial, it's only really then when you get to a healthy BMI that counselling to address the underlying issues can begin. I hope that helps a bit in some way, just remember you are there yo are supporting and although they may not show it they are grateful for your care,
Had a lengthy talk with eating disorder clinic today. There is s limit to what they can tell me as my family member won't give authority to share info. So I givevthem my observations and they give me general guidance. He is refusing to engage and cancelled the appointment he had today. Still living with me. Has had 1 set of blood tests and they want him to have some more. Which he has not mentioned to me. He has an ECG on Thursday.
Just wondering how you are getting on
Thank you for asking. Ok at the moment. He is re-engaging with the Eating Disorder Team and went to his re-scheduled appointment today and they plan to look at small group therapy seesions with him. He has spent time with his siblings this weekend and has plans to see them in a couple of wks.
Posted 5 months ago
I am looking over the posts and I was wondering how things are going for you and this young man?
That all sounds very positive, and thank you its good to know how he is getting on, please take it as a good sign that he is engaging with the services. It is also very positive that he has seen his siblings. keep up the good work
Posted 7 months ago
Hi there haven't been on here for a while I was wondering if you have any good news about the young person that you are looking out for?