Red mist



1 post

Posted 6 months ago

I’m trying so hard, to get this right, my daughters Anorexia was so aggressive I saw it take her I have been fighting it which seemed to make it stronger she ended up in hospital as I became so desperate I just took her to A&E as so scared her heart would stop it nearly did through me pushing as it became clear she needed medical care as she was not safe at home from herself she went to a specialist hospital to deal with this horrible disorder that dominates a person and changes them takes away there value and good. This journey for me has been so harsh rejection trips to hospital which was an hour and half away as no local beds I have a son and a single mother trying to work my ex and his family have backed away I struggle to get any support my parents are old do what they can and I’m working tirelessly now my girl is home to do everything right. She’s sustaining weight but I’m crumbling exhausted lonely I have loads of friends but can I see them no eating schedule my daughter not wanting to eat in frount of them. She’s sweet loving and needing so much but I feel so manipulated played by the illness to control me I spend hours sitting at table unable to do needed chores I get stressed if I run out and just occasionally the red mist of overwhelmed anger resentment of not being able to just grab a meal not go out not to be able to focus on my son not be able to text or plan anything without thinking about food water her happiness her low moods. I get angry and can’t hide it I have to step out. I need help support I feel my ex has abandoned her and me I I can’t cope well with the strain it’s effecting everything. I’m worried I’ll break. It makes you feel so sad and daily I’m digging deep to carry on. Sorry I tell no one just try and show I’m coping in control as I can’t fail at saving my daughter from this illness.

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