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Admin 170 posts
Posted 2 years ago
I have read the books, I think that I understand how I should behave as a meal time approaches and during the mealtime. But still I cant seem to keep meal times calm. First of all my daughter tries all sorts of distractions to try to delay eating and I know what she's doing but when I have challenged her on this she just gets very cross and then the whole meal time is very stressful and tearful. When the food is in front of her she behaves as if she is beaten. She drops her head and cuts the food up into tiny pieces the mealtime takes ages, She is always asking for huge glasses of water. From what I have read this is quite typical behaviour; but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with for me. Any tips?
Member 1 post
Posted 3 months ago
I have just discovered this forum. I hope that someone replied to your post. My daughter makes meal times difficult too so I understand a bit of how you feel. Sometimes I find it too overwhelming and then I know that I need a break. I hand it over to her father to be the " coach" for the evening and try to ignore what is happening at the table. Another option is to invite someone over for dinner, an aunty or someone else so that at least you have a distraction and bit of social pressure might help the situation. Hopefully things are much better for you and your family now.
Hi Kirky and thank you for your care, advice and good wishes. I am happy to report that yes meal times are much better now. My daughter is in a much better space, she was 19 when she was diagnosed and she is in her late twenties now and so as she has recovered meal times have become her responsibility but they are no longer stressful.
It is a sadness for me though that apart from Christmas dinner, she no longer joins us for family meals when all of my children are home. I will really feel as if we have achieved something when that happens. But I suppose the truth is that she has been through a lot and we are now all in a different space, we are not the same as before and that has many positives and a few negatives. The major positive is that she is mostly happy and rebuilding her life, she has gone back to exercise in a controlled way and that is helping her as she has always enjoyed exercise.
I hope that meal times continue to improve for you. It is so good to hear that you are both working as a team to support meal times. I know now that meal times are the time of major stress for someone with an eating disorder as they battle the contradictions of their thoughts. Eventually I learnt to plan ahead to agree meal times timings with my daughter before hand and insist that we stick to them, I also agreed the menu with her just really to take away any surprises. I also eventually learnt not to give in to her every persuasive reasons. Wishing you and your family the best