How can I make sure that I do the best for both of my daughters


ABC

ABC

Admin
93 posts

Posted one year ago

My eldest daughter is 18 she has been in recovery for a year. She has spent 3 months in a unit, which helped with some weight restoration however she seems to have come out of the unit with more anorexic behaviours than she went in with. I am supporting her at every mealtime. I am trying to keep meal times as calm and as normal as possible. But I am noticing that my youngest daughter who is 10 is beginning to copy the eldest daughter’s behaviour. I don’t know what to do for the best. If I let her eat on her own then I am worried that I am giving in to anorexia, but if I make her eat with us will that influence my daughter. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation and if so how did you manage it?

Rose

Rose

Member
1 post

Posted 2 months ago

I wonder if you have had any family therapy (maybe at CAMHS when your eldest daughter was under 18) to try to explain to your youngest about the ED? Our eldest daughter is 19, and has just come out of 3 month weight restoration programme too. Our younger children (14 year old boy and 17 year old girl) came to a couple of sessions at CAMHS maybe 4 years ago - and do I think that helped them understand what their sister was going through. Other than those couple of family therapy sessions, we have always downplayed it though, and tried to keep things very normal and undramatic for them. For us, all eating together has seemed the best way for everyone. So far, for us,the younger ones seem to have taken on board the negative effect of the ED and have not started to emulate their sister at all. So I do think for some families explanation/therapy to younger siblings at around your youngest's age can be helpful - it seems to have helped us.

I think the juggling of care between siblings is one of the hardest things, you just always seem to feel in the wrong! Very good luck to you all,

ABC

ABC

Admin
93 posts

Posted 2 months ago

Hi Rose,
thank you for your post, your time and your consideration. I hope that your daughter continues to do well, recovery is a long and undulating path, my daughter often says that it seems that you can adopt and learn anorexic behaviours overnight and years to in-learn them. You have done so well in managing the effect on your younger children and communication your expectation to your daughter. My daughter was not so amenable, and family meals really do not happen often, but she is doing well in many respects. I hope that everything is still progressing well for you, your daughter and your family. Thank you for contributing to this platform

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